


Who Was She?

by RiverHoneyDoctorSweetie



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, Mentions of River Song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-14
Updated: 2013-11-14
Packaged: 2018-01-01 11:05:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1044094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiverHoneyDoctorSweetie/pseuds/RiverHoneyDoctorSweetie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clara finds the Doctor leaning against the TARDIS console staring at a ring and she wants to know who's it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Was She?

"Who's that for?", Clara asks, nodding to the ring in the palm of the Doctor's hand. He's standing in front of the console, a meaningful look on his face.   
He jumps at the sound of Clara's voice, confused at first as to what she's said, then remembers,"Oh.", he looks down at the ring and says softly,"River."  
"River?", Clara cocks her head to the side,"What River?"  
Tears form in his eyes when he says,"My River. My beautiful, stubborn River."  
"So River's a person then?", Clara says before she sees the raw pain on the Doctor's face and then,"Who was she?"  
The Doctor doesn't answer. A tear falls from the corner of his eye. Somehow that single tear is more painful than any number of hours sobbing could ever be.  
Clara steps forward and puts a hand on his arm,"She was important, wasn't she?"  
The Doctor nods,"She was everything."  
"Tell me about her."  
He doesn't mean to but all of a sudden he is. He tells her about her smile, so smug and sure and yet so sweet and loving. The way her laugh made his insides light up and his hearts skip a beat. He describes her hair, all big and golden and untameable. The way her eyes lit up at every new discovery or world or adventure. He tells her about their timelines, always back to front. That the first day he met her she died. He tells her about the worst days, the days when he looked into her eyes and all he could see were the scars that the silence left upon her. The days when he didn't know who she was and he didn't treat her the way he should've. He tells her about the best days too, when the two of them were nearly linear and the word 'spoilers' hardly came up at all. Every single one of their anniversaries. Especially the one he'd given her this ring on.  
It's the first time he's spoken about her since her death. He hadn't realized just how much he wanted to until now. He'd thought that it would hurt too much. And it does, it feels like his hearts are cracking but it also fills him with comfort and warmth, remembering all the wonderful things about her. All the things that he has been forcing himself not to think about. When he finally stops talking he realizes that he's crying. He reaches up the hand that isn't holding River's ring and wipes at his tear stained face.  
"I'm sorry.", he says.  
Clara looks at him softly,"It's okay. You needed to talk about her."  
The Doctor sighs wearily,"Yeah, I guess I did. I didn't think I needed to but- I did."  
"How long were you two together?", she asks, brow slightly furrowed.  
"1406 years, 2 months, 4 days."  
"Was she a Time Lord too?"  
"In a sense yes. She was...", he shook his head,"There aren't enough words in any language of any world in any universe for what she was. I could say that she was perfect but she was always slightly less than that and yet she was so, so much more."  
"Why don't you wear a wedding band?", Clara asks.  
The Doctor fingers his bow tie and says,"I do."


End file.
